On Dating...

So, have I told you about who I’ve been seeing lately? We talk every night. He’s a magnificent 
artist and so caring. He thinks about me all the time. He has a really weird sense of humor, 
but I’ve come to love it. It really is different this time with him. He’s always there for me. 
He continues to love me even when I’m at my worst.

The crazy thing is you all know him, or have at least heard about him. Some of you are really good friends with him.

Have you figured it out who he is?

I’m dating God.

Yes. I am fully aware how corny it sounds and how weird it can be taken. But hear me out.

Growing up as a ‘Christian Kid’, I went to youth group, to the retreats, the conferences, the camps. When I was 13, I did the whole True Love Waits ceremony … thing. I even have a promise necklace (that I kept breaking the chain. My parents and I were a bit worried what that could possibly mean…haha) Actually there was a time that my parents convinced me that I was going to have an arranged marriage, but that is another story all together on how my parents have a twisted sense of humor.

Purity, dating (in a negative sense) and ‘saving yourself’ for marriage were main topics as a Christian teen. Every devotional and Christian book written for young adults revolved around these topics. I got to a point that I couldn’t take it anymore. I got it, don’t be stupid when it comes to sex and boys. Plus, I already had it in my mind to just not date in high school. All I had to do was to look at my friends and the drama they were in. For me, that was better than any purity talk.

But there was always one phrase though always stuck with me, “A girl should be so lost in God that a boy must search Him to find her.”

After high school, there’s college. And suddenly I’m meeting a lot of new people, especially dorming at college and attending a new church. It was in those few years, I would learn a lot about people and relationships in general.

During last year, I had an unhealthy friendship with a guy. I think we both always knew, but when I finally was aware of how unhealthy it was (looking back, it was God really tugging at my heart.), I decided that we could not be friends and ended any and all form of communication with him. It was really hard because we talked everyday. Just to add to it all, I realized that I would not be able to attend college in the spring because I wouldn’t be able to afford it.

Coincidentally, my family just happened to get Netflix. I caught up every night on my nerdy B-rated scifi tv shows and was finally able to finish Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

And it was awesome.

But halfway through Buffy, I came to the conclusion that this may not be exactly the best way to deal with things.

It was in early January, the month of new beginnings and making resolutions. I make this resolution every year, but I was going to take it a bit more seriously. I decided to read the Bible in one year, and do a bible study/prayer journal/just spending time with God. I was already in the habit of talking to someone every night. So this time, it stuck.

By February, I jokingly told the small group I was attending at the time that I’ve been ‘rebounding’ on God in trying to explain my relationship and personal time with God.

Early summer, I noticed that I just wasn’t rebounding on God, but I really was dating Him. I have to say, dating God has been really wonderful. It has been a pretty tough year, but I know He’s not going to say “I can’t handle this, I’m leaving” or “Kristen, my feelings have changed…so…bye.” He will always be there. After knowing every thing about me, every detail, every mistake, every lie, every flaw, He still loves me. He’s given me confidence, understanding, strength, and love. He pursued me like none other, and continues to pursue me. All things a good boyfriend should do. Also all those things I heard about purity as a teen started to make a bit more sense to me now too.

After everything, I really never believed in dating for the sake of dating. I ‘date’ with the intention of finding someone I could make a life with. I’m also a huge fan of being friends with someone before you make that decision to be in a romantic relationship. My prayer has been that God will give me neon signs saying that He wants me to be with this person. Even if the relationship doesn’t end up with wedding bells, a white dress and a ring, I pray that it will bring me closer to God or to the person God wants him and I to be, to be a sacred moment.

I also think we should take our time too! Is it just me, or is it like the unwritten rule that if you are 23 and a Christian, you should be married or at least engaged.  I feel like every time I go on facebook, someone somewhere is engaged, or getting married. If you found that person, I am so happy for you and wish you the best, I truly do. But for the others who feel that pressure, we have our whole lives in front of us. Don’t stress about it. Take your time. Really figure out who you are and what complements you best. Focus on God and that person will appear out of nowhere, I’m sure. And when God shows you who that is, don’t let that person slip away.

But for now, I’m going to continue dating God. It’s something I think I will continue to do for the rest of my life. In doing this, I feel like when I’m actually in a relationship with whomever that man is, I’ll have a firm foundation. I want to be so lost in God that whoever my Husband will be has to search Him to find me. That is the type of man I want be with.

I dedicate this to all the Single Ladies (and even single guys too)