Relient K’s Collapsible Lung: From End to End

You should know right now that this is not an album review… but more of a reaction to their latest album, Collapsible Lung, and the fall-out it’s causing amongst fans.

Relient K is the band that I forget is one of my favorite bands till I check my Last.Fm account. I’ve been a fan of theirs since middle school. They’ve had a huge influence on me, especially my writing. I grew up with them. They always had a song for whatever I was going through. And I unintentionally quote their lyrics all the time.

After waiting what seemed like an eternity for new songs, rumors of a new album started to spread. I cannot tell you how excited and curious I was especially after Forget and Not Slow Down. The moment any new song leaked or when the entire album leaked, I was all over it. (Don’t worry I pre-ordered it anyways.) 

So for a good month, I had it before a majority of people did. I genuinely enjoyed it. It was a great to jam out to. And I knew there was more to it than just a mere ‘pop album’, that it needed to be listened to a thousand times before the epiphanies would hit, which is standard Relient K.

At this point I completely forgot about the actual release date. I was at work barista-ing when I got a text from a friend of mine (the foundation of our friendship is probably based in our love for Relient K) saying that the fans were not happy with Collapsible Lung.

Now that would be an understatement. If you look at most of the reviews, it’s brutal. But I can sum it up for you guys.

1.     Different sound (aka Relient K sold out to make more cash.)

2.     The lyrics/theme of the songs were too worldly

3.     Therefore, they obviously have lost their spirituality.

And I was enraged. Mostly coming from their Christian fans freaking out over the word ‘sexy’ (Disaster), a whole song about a one night stand (PTL) and some other ‘questionable’ situations.

First off, I need to get this off my chest. I have been that Christian. I’ve been judgmental and self-righteous. This album help reveal that to me. But I don’t want to knock them though. I definitely was more of that type of Christian for another album, which I’ll explain a bit later.

But all I have to say to you guys is which one of you can cast the first stone? Or can see the log in your own eye?

And I kept thinking was that so many of you totally misunderstood the album.

I’ve realized in order to understand Collapsible Lung, we need to discuss their previous one, Forget and Not Slow Down.

I remember when I first listened to FANSD. It would take a while for me to get used to it. It would grow on me over time to eventually become my favorite. Every time I listen to it I get something new. Still. And it’s been out now for at least four years. There is so much raw emotion and depth to the lyrics.

I would learn later on the back-story for FANSD was birthed from dealing with emotional fall out of the failed relationship between Matt Thiessen and his former fiancé.  After hours and days of searching, all I could find out about what happened is that Matt had been unfaithful amongst other hinted unresolved issues based on interview she had when FANSD had first been released.

What I heard was a recording of an interview, and girl-to-girl, she sounded sad and broken and hurt. My heart broke for her. After hearing that I was destroyed. My view of Matt Thiessen and ultimately, Relient K was tarnished. I couldn’t even listen to them. I felt betrayed because I held them to this pedastal because they are Christian. The way many fans feel about Collapsible Lung, I actually felt about Forget and Not Slow Down.

I’m not here to justify or defend anyone's actions. I don’t know and I shouldn’t know what fully happened between Matt or his ex. What I can tell you is that event broke the both of them and that breaks my heart. Not as a fan or as a Christian, but as a fellow human.

I would listen to Relient K again. Like I said, they are one of my favorite bands, the boycott could last only so long, especially FANSD.

Then Collapsible Lung came out and I loved it. At least one song is stuck in my head. It’s catchy and I know Relient K always had an affinity for catchy tunes.

But Collapsible Lung gives Forget and Not Slow Down perspective, or better yet, an epilogue.

Now for all the haters who found the album shallow, the lyrics have a lot of depth that are under the guise of a pop album. Each one is a story, and I’m going to assume that they’re based in a personal experiences.

The attack on their faith and walk with God is uncalled for, self-righteous, and just flat out mean. I think that’s between them, God, and maybe a few close friends. But that’s just me.

Though that was the very reason why I enjoyed Collapsible Lung so much. In the last few years, I’ve done a lot of unexpected “unchristian” things too. With Relient K being so open about their experiences, mistakes, failures, and how ashamed they are of the consequences (It’s been an ongoing theme of theirs for years. A few examples are Trademark, Falling Out, Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been, I So Hate Consequences, Devastation and Reform). I didn’t feel so alone. I wasn’t the only prodigal.

Thanks to Stephen’s Review, it help even shed more light. When you listen to Collapsible Lung straight through, the entire album, each song, is a confession ending with the title song.

Between the miles of open road
I lost sight of what might matter the most
I stumbled into the great unknown and found
That time can’t slow down…

And it’s a slow climb headed back to the sky
And I’m feelin' backwards when I’m trying the most
And I hope haven’t heard the last words from the holy ghost
Cause I think that I’m supposed to be
Well on my way by now…

It closes the book that FANSD started.

I’ve noticed as I live my life, it isn’t so black and white as I thought it would be. Not in what’s right or wrong, but in the choices I made and the consequences they would create. What I thought would be easy choices were not as easy to make. Life is messy and we don’t always do the right thing, even after trying so hard to do the right thing. We lose sight of what matters most quite often. You go through horrible things and experiences, some created by your own words and actions. And when it hits you that you are nowhere near who you wanted to be. You expected by now to be different, to be further ahead.

Matt’s lyrics are probably literal, but I am going to turn it into a very cliché metaphor. Life is an open, unknown road. It’s a journey. There are turns and detours and roadblocks. The journey seems long but it ends way faster than any of us expect. And it’s different for all of us.

I think that was the point of Collapsible Lung. A reason to finally do that pop album, but more importantly, it’s a confession. We all fall short. We all are flawed. Isn’t that the whole point of being a Christian? Admitting we fail and we need a Saviour?

So I think I’ll end this with another Relient K song.

Because the judge of you
Is someone I could never be
Is why you should thank the Lord
That it is Him and it's not me

Don't give up, it's not the end
There's hope for every fallen man
To pick themselves up when they think they can't
Because with every passing second comes a second chance

-Hope For Every Fallen Man 

PS. IF ANY MEMBER OF RELIENT K ACTUALLY READS THIS. I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU GUYS SOMETIME. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN :)

Till We Have Faces

“Often when he was teaching me to write in Greek the Fox would say, ‘Child, to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that’s the whole art and joy of words.’

A glib saying. When the time comes to you at which you will be forced to at last utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years, which you have, all that time, idiot-like, been saying over and over, you’ll not talk of the joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?”

-Orual's discussion of the gods.

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

It’s been a while since I’ve last written. I could tell you that I have been busy (which is very true, I recently moved, I have two new, different jobs and I have been attending a new church somewhat regularly – though I still have commitment issues.)

But honestly, that’s not it at all. I’ve been afraid to write. I started to realize the responsibility of this blog and worst of all, I began to feel doubt.

Why would God use me? I’m a mess. I’m childish. I make so many mistakes. I’m selfish. And this is all a terrible thing to believe. Well yes, my failures are true, but to doubt the statement:

Why would God use me?

That doubt followed by the confusion of “Who am I, really?” that I was dealing with, would unravel me.

Suddenly I was 21, and all the rules changed. And everything else changed too. The places I worked. The people I knew. The places I worshipped. The house I lived in.

But I am no stranger to change. I’ve dealt with worse. What was it this time?

I have a rather strange talent. I may forget your name or where I put my phone or what I may have done yesterday, but I can remember the exact date of certain things. Usually it’s the date of when I first meet someone. And sometimes, I’ll even remember what you wore.

Now August will always remind me of someone, someone who I considered to be one of my closest friends. We became friends in August and then we ‘unbecame’ friends in August, almost on the same exact day, just five years apart.

Six years ago, next week, I hung out with a family that I had known most of my life, but it was that day that I met my dearest friend. It’s funny how you could know someone all your life and yet never be friends with them and suddenly be friends. How often can you genuinely say to someone, “You too? I thought I was the only one!”

We would grow closer, but due to distance and time, we would grow apart.

One year ago, next week, we hung out for the first time in a really long time. And it felt like how it used to be.

But the great time we were having would soon end… and turn into an argument that would last two weeks.

One of the last things he would ever say to me was, “I don’t think I could be friends with a girl like you.”

It doesn’t matter whom I was arguing with or what we were arguing about or even who was right or wrong. I’m pretty sure neither of us were right or wrong. But it was a simple phrase that changed my entire view of who I was. It would echo in everything I would do and every decision I would make.

What kind of girl am I? Am I a girl who drinks? Am I a girl who will finish her college degree? Am I a girl who still believes in the Church? Am I girl who writes? Am I a girl who could trust people? Am I girl that God could use, that God would want to use?

All these questions, I became a shadow of the girl I could be. I was so afraid that I simply stopped asking, not doing anything. I just gave up. I gave up on writing. I gave up on art. I gave up on people. And in giving up in all those things, I gave up on God.

See, I’ve been quite lost these last few months and that is why I haven’t really been writing.

But God, He never left me. I found myself in Him again in the last few weeks. And in the last few weeks, the Devil has been throwing so many distractions and doubts my way to keep me lost.

I still don’t know what kind of girl I am. I know I’m a girl who has made mistakes. I know I am a girl who is selfish. I know I’m a girl who has hurt people and has been hurt by people. I know I’m a girl who is terribly afraid of not being enough.

But God found me, and He loves me so much that He gave up His son to die for me.

And really, isn’t that all that truly matters in the end? That is when we have found our face, our true face, His.

Genuine

I know this is out of my series and a bit different, but this is just a thought of mine lately.

Anyone who knows me will realize I have an obsession for the truth of things. Authenticity. Genuineness. After you’ve finally warmed me up after hanging out for like about 3 or so months (I’m a bit of an introvert), I will instantly tell you how I honestly think about something and would like to know your honest opinion, nothing more and nothing less.

See for me, with knowing the truth, one has nothing to hide, there are no hidden agendas, no selfish motives, it is but simple truth. And from simple truth is born integrity, honor and character. I can trust in truth because it comes with no surprises. Truth is transparent and genuine. Truth can be painful, but it will always set you free.

I am always seeking the truth in things. Constantly searching. I’ve always been, and at this point, always will. Once I find the truth, I have a need to share it because everyone deserves the truth. I am a rebel and this is my cause.

I came to realize this when I was about ten or eleven. Before I was a hipster and loved all things acoustic and obscure, I was a huge fan of bubblegum pop like every other 10-13 yr old girl.

Now let’s go back about ten years (circa 2001) and look at the music then. Both secular music and Contemporary Christian Music had a lovely group of teen bubblegum pop to select from. My parents were very careful about what lyrics I was singing about (and for which I am very grateful for. Really.), so I listen to mostly to CCM such as…

Plus One (saw them a lot in concert. My favorite was Nate.)

Jaci Velasquez

ZoeGirl

Jump5

Joy Williams (please check out The Civil Wars.)

MaryMary (Shackles anyone???)

Raze

Rachel Lampa

Stacie Orrico

True Vibe

These were my Jams till I was about 12 and I discovered Relient K and Switchfoot. And as much as I would love to ramble about how I still know all the words by heart to Plus One’s Written On My Heart (don’t deny it, I’m sure most of you do too), but I did have a point to this post.

Stacie Orrico. Most of you probably remember having a hit back in 2003, ‘(There’s Gotta Be) More To Life’ which was off of her sophomore album and that was pretty much all you knew.

oh. 2000. lipliner and choker necklaces.

Before that, she had two songs that stuck with me (and still do) off of her first album, ‘Don’t Look at Me’ and ‘Genuine’.

What He has is something genuine
Who He is, is someone real
What He gives is something truthful
Its what He has, its Who he is
Its what He gives
And I need Him too.”

-Genuine

Stacie Orrico

It was this song that made me realize that my hunger for pure and simple truth was really a hunger for God alone.

“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.’”

John 14:6

The only way.

The only truth.

The only life.

We can only cast our eyes toward Jesus, the prize. He is lamp to our feet and the light to our path. When we forget that simple truth, we lose our truth and we get lost. We start wandering into places, following other people down roads we shouldn’t go.

I feel like a lot of us have done exactly that. We get so caught up in the production of Sunday mornings, to make sure we are ‘cool christians’ who are aware of the world, making sure we brand everything in sight, and that we ‘reach’ thousands of people so that we hit this years quota.

With the best of intentions, we’ve somehow lost our way, our truth. Sometimes I wonder what the difference is between ‘the church’ and a non-profit charity.

But I’ll leave you with this.

“Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection
Don't look at me I will only let you down
I'll do my best to point you in the right direction
But don’t look at me
No, no, no
Don't look at me, look at Him…

He's the One who lived a perfect life
He's the One who always gets it right
He's the One and only guiding light, Ohh, yeah
He is everything you want to be
He's the answer to your every need
If you follow Him then you will see He's like no other.”

-Don't Look At Me

Stacie Orrico

I’m 21. I don’t have all the answers.

I’m just a girl who hungrily seeks the Truth.